Friday, June 25, 2010

Novel #30 Complete!

Revisions completed on Novel #30.
Now I'm looking for a publisher,
also looking into self-publishing options
(if I stumble upon $250 leprechaun).
This one took 4 years on & off to write,
lots of distractions and other projects
but it turned out good.
Starring a bathysphere,
a tiger, elephants, a bad magician,
a flat piano player, blind canaries,
a comic-relief butler, lanterns,
Emily Dickinson's bread,
a mermaid and more.
I hope you can read it soon!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Waiting 75 Years Overnight

We were attending the Fairhaven Middle School orchestra
recital last night and while the 8th graders were playing,
I stepped out into the hallway. There was a display case
featuring a Bellingham Herald from January 1, 1936.
With the beehive tone in the background, I started to read
about the Liar's Club grand championship of 1935.
Fibber McGee won with his tale:
"Two years ago the weather was so cold
that it drove a large rat into our house for shelter.
Do whatever I could, I could"
and there the joke stopped. I could not reach
through the glass to turn the newspaper page.
What was the punchline? A sleepless night
awaited me. Fortunately, I work in a library
and the next morning I went back in time
on microfilm to pick up on page 2:
"not catch him, even with the most cleverly
baited traps. Finally I hit upon an idea.
The cold drove him in says I to myself
and the cold will catch you. That night
after supper I brought in our largest
thermometer and put it in the kitchen
putting a big piece of cheese beneath it.
The next morning I had Mr. Rat.
The mercury had fallen so low during
the night that it pinned him to the floor."
Later in the day, I stopped on the 4th floor
to see what Esar's Joke Dictionary (1945)
had to offer in the way of rats: