Jack Shellac’s Art Shack
The cameras were rolling
filming as he lay the thick color paint
across the canvas. He had a running dialogue going
something about how beautiful it was camping
in the Appalachians. The leaves, the swaying trees
the purple lakes and haunting call of the loon.
He made a joke about not paying the trailer park
driving out early before the ranger woke up.
While he began adding a deer to the rippling
edge of the water, there was a crash.
A boom mike swung wildly.
Jack’s banter ceased abruptly
his ashen face staring in horror
at the approaching sight.
A bear walking on its hind legs
eight feet tall, panting, slobbering,
and slashing its claws and teeth.
It fell over Jack like a shadow
the scenic painting stuck to its hairy back
while the TV crew retreated
leaving the camera fixed
on the grizzly.
Annotated Jack Shellac:
This story was written 2/19/93 4:15 PM
and originally appeared in my
PIE IN THE SKY magazine, #17.
It owes its creation to an infamous
TV artist Bob Ross and also a certain
one-eyed Seattle celebrity I worked for.
There were at least 5 sequels to this,
each time, Jack Shellac reappearing
a little more gnawed away.